Mental Preparation

A friend had suggested that it would be interesting to hear about the mental preparation that goes into this kind of journey. 

This is the type of thing that can only be written at night, while I am tired, so the guards are further down. So, please do excuse typos! 

I ordered business cards to hand out in hopes of keeping in contact with the amazing people that I’ll surely meet along the way. Of course, with the chaos that is my comfort zone, I ordered these last minute and it appears the trip is delayed, yet again, by 3 days. I’m trusting in the universe that this is how things are meant to be. So instead of leaving on my Grandpa’s birthday, I will be leaving on my cousin’s birthday.

And I must confess: this is relieving. Aside from the fact that there is much left to do, each day proves itself imperative to the success of this trip. While completing everyday tasks, I can feel my core shake with anticipation, boredom, excitement, fear, joy, impatience. All of which equates into 3 words: “Let’s do this!”

The part that’s the hardest–the only part that has made me shed some tears–is saying “See ya” to so many amazing people. I have a best friend and a college sweetheart that have gone wild with throwing me goodbye parties–none of which I’ve been able to stay sober for. So much can change in a few months, and I don’t know who we are all going to be when I return to the area. Work, and all my team members there, went beyond too. I’ve worked farmers markets for half of my life, and at this point, the colleagues, bosses, team members, and “customers” all feel like family. Many of them dawned me with cards, tokens for the trip, and well wishes. Beyond blessed for this community. And my family (and the friends who have been like family, you know who you are), they’re being incredibly supportive as I see glimpses of fear and love and tears fall from their eyes. They know my past, and how good this will be for my existence, and how this can only strengthen our relationships, even if it means not having me around to laugh with. How lucky I am, that the hardest part of preparation is to recognize how many people are going to notice when I am gone. To recognize how many people I am going to miss the warmth and time shared with. 

I initially thought that I would be leaving late May, and then early July, and now departure won’t be until nearly August. This has given me more time to spend with the people mentioned above, more time to build that anticipation that fights away the fear and anxiety, and more time to prepare with little details (such as maps, itinerary, and other mini things). Each day raises the volume a little to the truth of it all: this. is. Right.

Side note: I’m also going to miss my pets sooo much: Kitty Purry, Valona, and Sir Gustavo. They are staring right now, angry that I’m on the computer instead of nuzzling them! Shout out to Simone for looking out for my fur children while I am away!

Next to come: pictures and explanation of the CRV to camper conversion! I’ve just about completed collecting the things needed to make this a live-able vehicle, and will be completing it after the wedding this weekend.

And as always, please contact me with any writing gigs, or suggestions on what you’d like to hear about on this blog! Contact: trinity@talesoftrinity.com

XO,

@thelostqueenofatlantis